IWD is Every Day at NFNL

Written By: Katrina Tamez, NFNL Grants Manager

Every little girl has big dreams. Dreams to be successful. Dreams of becoming great. Dreams of safety and independence. Somewhere along the way, her hopes and dreams were stolen from her by a person who made a choice for her. They chose to exploit her and chose to trafficker her. No one dreams of being exploited. No one deserves to be exploited.

On March 8th the world celebrated International Women’s Day. A day that recognizes women’s achievements and rallies people for positive change to advance women’s equality and continued progress. At New Friends New Life (NFNL), International Women’s Day is every day. Every day, we get the chance to witness power being reclaimed by women who are accomplishing their dreams. Women who have overcome the unimaginable to be victorious. Women like Becca in a recent Phase-Up ceremony said: “Everyone at New Friends New Life inspires me to keep moving forward. I have been through a lot, and I will continue to grow even stronger.”

NFNL’s vision is to create a community where women and girls can soar above the limits of their past to achieve their dreams. Often, financial ties are what keep survivors tethered to the life of exploitation. When women have the opportunity to become financially self-sufficient, they are able to move forward with their dreams, which is why Economic Empowerment is a core pillar in our Women’s Program. The Economic Empowerment program teaches workforce readiness and life skills, provides financial literacy tools, connects women to entry-level employment, offers educational guidance, and provides interim financial support for basic living expenses to bridge the gap to self-sufficiency. This program helps provide the tangible skills and resources a survivor needs to overcome her history and make it HER STORY so that she can accomplish her dreams….Because at NFNL we believe it is never too late to achieve your dreams.

We honor Annette, for example, a proud graduate of the Women’s Program who is now serving as an Economic Empowerment Specialist at NFNL. She recently celebrated earning her bachelors degree in Sociology. Although her dreams may have evolved over the years, Annette plans to continue using her nurturing spirit to invest in other women, because HER STORY is just beginning! The healing power of community and support provided at New Friends New Life empowers survivors and members of our  Alumni Circle  as they reclaim their power and bring new dreams into fruition. That is something worth celebrating every day.

Overrepresentation: How Society’s Social Ills Affect Black Women and Girls Differently

Written By: NFNL CEO, Bianca Davis

Black History Month 2023 is now in the books, which on its surface means that we have once again checked the boxes for the year. Educational events?  Check. Reflective conversations? Check. Award ceremonies? Check. While there is indeed imperative value in recognizing Black American history and achievements, being Black in America too often means being overrepresented in some of the most devastating social issues and cycles  - whether it be intimate partner homicide, pregnancy mortality, or living in the foster care system.

At New Friends New Life, (NFNL) we too witness this overrepresentation when it comes to the issue of sex trafficking. In 2022, 48% of our adult program members were Black women. In our Youth Resource Center, which serves female youth ages 12-22, 43% of our members are Black girls. These numbers align with national data that shows that 40% of trafficking victims in the U.S. are Black women and girls, despite making up less than 14% of the population.  Overrepresentation.

Anecdotally, I’ve long believed that many Black women are in a fight that we aren’t actively or consciously fighting – it’s just a part of what it means to survive and thrive in this skin we’re in. Now, there’s  a term that describes the detrimental effects this never-ending fight has on Black women’s bodies – it’s called weathering. This wearing down of the physical body is a result of chronic stressors that are at the very root of Black American history and its trauma. It comes as no surprise then, that 60% of the women at NFNL also have a medical health condition (diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, arthritis, etc.), in addition to the complex emotional trauma they carry, often stemming from their childhood, and further exacerbated by being a trafficking victim. I once heard a survivor say – “by the time a woman is trafficked, that’s not the first bad thing that has happened to her.” It is with trauma on top of trauma that Black women are trying to navigate and heal. Overrepresentation.

 As a Black, Female, Immigrant, I have spent my life ripping off labels of libel and climbing out of the buckets of confinement. I recognize the privilege it has been for me to have made a life for myself here in the United States. I am grateful for the long list of allies and friends who have opened doors for me to walk through in different seasons. Today, I am humbled to be able to dedicate my professional life to sounding the alarm on behalf of women and girls who are in harm’s way. I know full well that there, but for the grace of God, go I.

Not long ago, I arrived at our facility ready to start my day, and I noticed one of our members sitting on the steps enjoying the morning breeze. I was immediately attracted to her big, bold earrings, so we struck up a conversation about jewelry and fashion. Then, I asked how long she had been with us.  She shared that she had just moved here from Nevada, after leaving a life of being bought and sold for nearly a decade. She said she was enjoying the program so far, and then asked, “what do you do here?”  When I told her I was the CEO, she stood up with tears in her eyes, gave me the biggest hug, and said, “I never imagined that someone who ran a place like this would ever look like me.” In that moment, oppressive overrepresentation shifted to restorative representation. I will never forget that embrace. She didn’t say much else, but I felt every single word.

While we know that anyone can be a victim of sex trafficking, and that New Friends New Life is proud to be in its 25th year of serving women and girls of all backgrounds and races who have been trafficked and exploited, it is imperative that we acknowledge all the ways in which Black women and girls, who are overrepresented in this issue, are uniquely and disproportionately at risk. It is only then that we can begin to level the disparities and clear the path forward for survivors. 

Whatever It Takes: Staying the Course in the Fight Against Sex Trafficking

Written by: Bianca Davis, CEO of New Friends New Life

This year, New Friends New Life is recognizing 25 years of working in the Dallas community to restore women and girls who have been trafficked and exploited. As an agency, we have grown a lot since that very first woman reached out for help well over two decades ago. And every day we continue to learn how to best serve survivors, educate the community, and hold perpetrators accountable.

In fact, the most recent local sting operation proves what we know to be true - that buyers are often everyday men who are purchasing other human beings, and that this illegal crime is happening right here in our community. If we are going to collapse the trafficking industry, we must hold both the trafficker and the buyer accountable. By addressing the demand, as exemplified by the valiant work of our Men’s Advocacy Group, we can put traffickers out of business.

While we have a long way to go, the good news is that Dallas is always up for a good fight.

Looking back on Human Trafficking Prevention and Awareness Month, I am encouraged by the engagement displayed by law makers, neighbors, and the faith community. From being recognized by the Dallas County Commissioners Court to discussing the resigning of the Abolish Human Trafficking Act with co-author Senator John Cornyn, lawmakers and civic leaders are listening and acting. From our well-attended bus tours to invitations to speak to social organizations, corporations, and educational institutions, our community members are learning and advocating. And, most of all, the women and girls of NFNL are doing the hard, transformative work of restoring their own lives.

 By the time women graduate from our Four-Phase Women’s Program, they have secured stable housing, are emotionally healthy, and are gainfully employed. On National Human Trafficking Awareness Day, we were cheering on a graduate of our Women’s Program as she shared all that she has accomplished, and the powerful way she is giving back to her community today. It is her story, replicated time and time again, that keeps me going.

I ended Human Trafficking Awareness Month last Sunday standing before a congregation of several thousand members of Concord Church, with many more watching online. It was not lost on me how far we have come in raising awareness across all sectors and fields. And this is what it will take – all of us coming together to take a #StandforHer, not only in January, but every day of every month, every year, for as long as it takes to create a safe community where sex trafficking does not thrive.

To support our work all year long, and to lock arms with us in this fight, I invite you to join New Friends New Life’s Power of 10 Club today. For less that the cost of your favorite streaming service, you can make a difference in the lives of trafficking survivors every month, every year, for as long as it takes.

A Moment of Thanks

Written By: Kathleen Dooley, Senior Director of Human Resources

 With Thanksgiving approaching, I’m reminded of how immensely thankful I am to work for New Friends New Life as the Senior Director of Human Resources.

I spent a great deal of my career in the corporate world, but transitioning to the nonprofit sector years ago was the best decision I ever made. Working alongside others who share the same level of commitment and passion for a mission is life changing in the best ways imaginable. I’m very thankful for having the privilege of working with our amazing staff. Our organization’s success is a direct reflection of the dedication and commitment of our staff , including our leadership team, who relentlessly work to ensure our members receive exceptional care and services.

I’m thankful for any opportunity I get to spend one-on-one time with our members. Whether I am simply walking them down the hall, chatting with them about TV shows, or making them a cup of microwavable noodles, the most cherished moments of my days are these. One way I’ve been able to connect more deeply with our members is by sharing my love of art with them. It began with rock painting sessions last year. Rock painting may sound absurd; however, there is something so rewarding about turning a plain, old rock into something beautiful. In fact, research has found that creating art can have a positive impact on the brain! Studies show that people who participate in arts and crafts demonstrate notable improvements in cognitive function, problem solving skills, stress relief, emotional wellbeing, self-awareness, psychological resilience, and memory processing. These activities also provide an outlet for self-expression, create a sense of achievement, and help to boost self-esteem and confidence. 

Art is not only beneficial for the brain, but it is also good for the soul. I love watching how relaxed our members become as they paint. Some of the women like to talk a lot while they’re working on their masterpiece. They share their daily struggles, their life stories, and provide encouragement to one another. Other women remain completely laser focused and silent. A member once told me: “I love this class because my mind goes blank, and I don’t think about anything else but painting this rock.” 

Last holiday season we painted Christmas ornaments together. It was heartwarming to hear the members talk about who they planned to gift each ornament to—friends, family members and their children. Due to financial restraints, gift giving is not something many members are able to do very often, if at all, but it clearly brings them an incredible amount of pride and joy. One member exclaimed how excited she was to give her young son an ornament for Christmas. She told me it would be the first Christmas gift she would ever give him. Another member painted ornaments for her sister whom she recently reunited with after many years of estrangement.

Those painted ornaments served as little bridges to building deeper connections with their loved ones.

Our members are the strongest, most courageous women I will ever know. Hearing their stories and being witness to their remarkable transformations clarifies my perspective on life.  I am forever changed because of them. I’m also constantly reminded of how important it is to the human experience to have a network of loving, supportive people in your life. It is such a blessing to work for an organization that provides that kind of support to teens and women who need it most. Although our members’ life experiences may look vastly different from our own, as women we all want and deserve the same basic things in life—unconditional love, acceptance, respect, compassion, equal opportunities, and personal freedom.

On behalf of the NFNL team, thank you to our generous supporters, partners, volunteers, as well as to the members of our Board of Directors, Men’s Advocacy Group, and Circle of Friends. Our community of support makes it possible for us to do what we do. Your time and generosity are helping to change the lives of teens, women, and their children every day. We will forever be thankful for each of you.

I wish you a happy Thanksgiving and a joyful start to the holiday season ahead!

If you’re interested in facilitating an arts and crafts workshop for our members, please visit our volunteers page. 

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.”

— Steve Maraboli

Recognizing Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Written By: Jessica Brazeal, MA, LPC-S, NFNL Chief Programs Officer

As the temperature outside cools and we move into the fall, we recognize October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I began my career at Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support, another local non-profit that supports women and children that have been impacted by domestic violence, spending thousands of hours counseling women in abusive relationships. When I arrived at New Friends New Life, I quickly realized, without much surprise, that so many of the elements present in domestic violence are also present in trafficking. Additionally, more than 75% of the women we serve have also experienced domestic violence directly.

Domestic Violence Defined

Domestic violence affects 1 in 4 women nationally and 1 in 3 women in Texas. Those are staggering numbers and means that if you are a woman reading this, either you or someone you know well has likely been affected by this issue. Domestic violence, at its core, is about power and control in a relationship with an intimate partner. It is about establishing and maintaining that control at all costs using a variety of tactics. It is often referred to as the systematic diminishment of a woman in her home.

When we refer to domestic violence, we are referring to four different types of abuse that gradually progress and escalate over time: verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. The abuse rarely begins in an overt way as physical or sexual abuse; rather, it starts subtly with nuanced mechanisms that are designed to establish a pattern of control, like asking a woman to wear a different outfit because he doesn’t want anyone else looking at her, usually guised initially to be coming from a place of safety and concern. On the surface, this may feel protective or flattering. In reality, this is a control device that is used to establish power in the relationship. This is seen as the relationship progresses and this idea transforms into, “Who are you trying to impress by dressing like that? Go change.” Once the abusive partner has ensured that the victim is fully committed to the relationship, they will typically employ different strategies and tactics to control and regulate the victim’s behavior (Bancroft, 2002.) 

Domestic Violence and Sex Trafficking

By its very nature, the dynamic between a woman and her trafficker can function either exactly as a domestic violence relationship if a woman is actively engaged in a relationship with her trafficker or strongly mirror those same dynamics in the trafficking function (Nichols, Edmond & Heil, 2018). The dynamics of power and control are at the core of the trafficker’s interactions with a survivor and abuse is often used as a mechanism to establish and maintain that control in the same way that it is in an abusive intimate partner relationship. Additionally, in the same way that abusive partners look for vulnerabilities that would make a partner more easily controlled, traffickers often use similar tactics to assess for vulnerabilities that would allow someone to be more easily susceptible to being trafficked.

Lundy Bancroft describes in his book Why Does He Do That? (2002) that there are abusive men who seek out partners that have less life experience, knowledge, or self-confidence that will look to this man as a teacher or mentor. He describes that this type of abusive man seems to be drawn to the power imbalance. One might make the same argument for the way in which traffickers identify women to approach and recruit. Because of this strong overlap, it is imperative that agencies are working across issue lines to support women who have or will experience both domestic violence and trafficking and exploitation. It is incumbent upon us to create the most vast and strong safety net we can create to support survivors in the most comprehensive way possible.  

Partnering to Make an Impact

At New Friends New Life we actively assess and safety plan around any current safety issues that might pertain to an ongoing abusive relationship that a member might be in. I recently had the opportunity to meet with the Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support direct services staff to discuss ways in which they can be assessing their clients for any history or experience of trafficking and exploitation. We rely on our friends at Genesis and other local domestic violence shelters when a woman leaving an abusive relationship needs a safe place to stay. Together, we can all make Dallas the safest place it can be for women.

References

Andrea Nichols, Tonya Edmond, and Erin C. Heil, eds. (2018). Social Work Practice with Survivors of Sex Trafficking and Commercial Sexual Exploitation. New York, NY: Columbia University Press.

Bancroft, L. (2002). Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men.  New York, NY: G. P. Putnam's Sons.

Recognizing National Hispanic Heritage Month

Written By: Vivian Valles, NFNL Youth Case Manager

National Hispanic Heritage Month is a very joyous and celebratory time for individuals of Latino/Hispanic ethnic origins. Originating in the U.S. in 1968, it was first recognized as a week-long celebration under President Lyndon Johnson then became a month-long holiday during Ronald Reagan’s Presidency term in 1988. This was a time for allowing recognition of the Latino culture such as the food, music, dances, artwork, clothing, traditions, and more! This holiday is celebrated by hosting festivals, art shows, conferences, and community gatherings to speak more about what traditions are sacred and valued within this ethnic population. Some of the most honored traditions include “Las Posadas”, which is to remember the story of Mary, Joseph, and the birth of Jesus, “La Quinceanera” where a young girl celebrates her 15th birthday and becoming a young woman, and “Dia de los Muertos”, where family members who have passed on can be remembered and honored. September also recognizes the Independence Day for Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, and Nicaragua on September 15th, Mexico on September 16th, and Chile on September 18th.”

Growing up in this culture has really made an impact into the person that I am today, the values I hold near and dear to my heart, as well as the way I view raising my own future children. Even though this holiday is only celebrated one month nationally, it is lived every day through me and the rest of the Latino/Hispanic individuals nationwide. I am extremely proud to be able to call myself a Latin American woman.

Since working here at New Friends New Life, where we have added more bilingual staff members such as myself throughout the years, there has been a significant increase in the number of Hispanic individuals we serve. 75% of the teen girls we serve in the Youth Resource Center are Black or Hispanic/Latina. In the cultural aspect of the Hispanic community, it is not uncommon for the daughters of Hispanic homes to take on more responsibility in the household such as chores and assisting with raising of their other siblings. This can then progress into beginning to act and think more like an adult instead of having the mindset of a young teenage girl.

With the resources we have to offer both the youth girls and their families we have been able to provide psychoeducation and caregiver support in learning more about their family systems, attachment styles, and how to integrate these learned techniques to adhere to a more positive and healthy relationship for the entire family. We as an agency have learned that to transform the lives of the teen girls, we must also serve their caregivers. Since implementing these new strategies in case management, group therapy, and individual therapy, I have seen a significant change in the way this has positively influenced the girls and their families in how they interact and begin to understand one another. My hope is that we at New Friends New Life will continue to serve more Latino/Hispanic individuals and help them create better futures for themselves despite the barriers that they often face.