The Role of Fathers & Men in Society: Champions of Justice and Dignity for All

Written by Samantha Carmean, Development Assistant, New Friends New Life

I remember being five-years-old, my dad tucking me into bed and reading me my favorite bedtime story, Good Night, Sweet Butterflies. We would go on to say our nightly prayer and he would send me off with sweet dreams. At that time, you couldn’t tell me he wasn’t the best storyteller and hug-giver. Honestly, you still can’t tell me differently today.

Next, I remember being sixteen and going through my first heartbreak. I stayed up all night crying and came downstairs the next morning with puffy eyes and little to say. My dad made me an egg sandwich and held me in a way that words couldn’t.

I remember just last year, coming home from college for a short weekend just a month away from graduating. Throughout the semester, I had felt a shadow of fear for what was to come. I was so worried about not having things all lined up and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Before I left that Sunday, it was my dad who told me how proud he was of me for all that I had accomplished in the last four years. He told me he did not want me to settle for a job I did not want, and he assured me that I would always have his and my mom’s support. I am not sure he had any idea that his words were an answered prayer to soothe all the fears and worries I was having.

Reflecting on Father’s Day, I think of intentional moments of encouragement and acts of service that say more than words can. I think of my dad’s voice yelling out as I head out of the door for work (yes, even as a grown adult) “Have a marvelous Monday”, “terrific Tuesday”, and of course “Happy Hummmmp Day”. I think of a constant ray of positivity and the continual presence of someone who truly wants the best for me.

I am grateful each Father’s Day to revel in the special moments I have with my dad and to think of all the ways he has contributed to my sense of safety, security, and confidence. However, I know that this holiday does not always bring to mind the same positive memories and emotions for everyone. For many, the hurt and pain that you carry come from the very person who was supposed to love and protect you.

If that is your story, I want to say I am sorry. It was never supposed to be that way. I am proud of you though for the courageous work you are doing or will do to heal and to create healthy relationships, although it should have never been your burden to carry. You are strong. And you are loved.

The role of a father and that of a man carries a great responsibility in shaping our society, including contributing to a sense of safety in our communities and combatting the issue of human trafficking. Behind every victim and survivor of trafficking is a complex web of factors contributing to their vulnerabilities. Fathers/men, as pivotal figures within families, communities, and society at large can both directly and indirectly influence these factors.

As a protective factor, a supportive and nurturing father figure can instill resilience, self-esteem, and a sense of autonomy in their children. Open communication, emotional support, and modeling healthy behavior can empower children to do the same (Bridging Freedom, 2023).

At New Friends New Life, our Men’s Advocacy Group mobilizes men to take action against sex trafficking and exploitation. Fathers, leaders, and men all over can actively engage in advocacy efforts, leveraging their influence to amplify the voices of survivors, challenging societal norms, and being a champion of justice and dignity for women and girls. One of my favorite things at NFNL is when we celebrate Valentine’s Day. On this occasion, we invite our MAG and male volunteers to serve a meal and gift a rose to our members. It’s a small gesture, but a big way to say I see you and I stand for you.

As we celebrate Father’s Day, let us not only express gratitude for the love, guidance, and sacrifices of the fathers/ father figures in our lives but also recognize the pivotal role they play in creating a healthy and safe community for all.

Lastly, to my dad-

Thank you for being my biggest cheerleader, a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, and my best friend. You sure do make a mean egg sandwich ;) I love you.

Sources: Bridging Freedom. “Role of Fathers in Preventing & Combating Human Trafficking.” Bridging Freedom, 8 June 2023, www.bridgingfreedom.org/role-of-fathers/. 

Sex Trafficking’s Devastating Toll on Women and Girls’ Mental Health

Written by Sierra Harrold, Youth Case Manager, New Friends New Life

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. During this month, it is important to recognize the significant impact that mental health has on our overall well-being. Mental health affects all aspects of our lives, from our relationships and careers to our ability to be able to pursue our goals. As this month closes, I would like to encourage you to take some time to practice self-care, go on a walk, read a new book, take a relaxing bath, or anything else that is spent pouring time into yourself! I would also like to encourage you to hold compassion for others by being mindful of others’ experiences and practicing empathy.

At New Friends New Life, we often witness firsthand the immense challenges faced by women and girls who have survived sex trafficking. The traumatic experiences that these women and girls have faced, not only jeopardize their physical safety, but can also leave lasting scars on their mental health and well-being. The chronic stress that is inflicted on the brain by involvement in the sex trade can manifest a myriad of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, PTSD, borderline personality disorders, and many more. Furthermore, the impacts of sex trafficking can often extend beyond individual experiences. The impact of the sex trade can also cause a multitude of social factors to decline, such as higher rates of unemployment, family violence, poverty, and gender inequality issues. These systemic issues create severe barriers for women and girls in accessing essential mental and physical healthcare, employment opportunities, and education, which further exacerbates the challenges placed on survivors to find healing and create a new beginning.

In honor of Mental Health Awareness month, I encourage you to take a stand and help raise awareness of the mental health challenges that survivors of trafficking often face. By educating yourself and encouraging others to do the same, we can create a greater understanding of the effects of this issue and become more empathetic to those who have experienced these traumas.

Here are some ways that you can make a difference:

·Educate Yourself: Take the time to learn about the sex trade and its effect on women and girls’ mental health. By learning more about issues such as these, we can better understand how to combat them, and open our minds to holding space for others who have been victimized by this issue. Take the time to engage with various resources that are dedicated to assisting the victims of sex trafficking and learn about how you can be a part of advocating for change.

· Practice Compassion: Be mindful of the struggles that women and girls’ may face because of their experiences in the sex trade. Keep an open mind and remember that everyone’s experiences with traumas such as this are vastly different. Hold space for them and consider that everyone is at a different place in their own journey of healing. Be patient, be kind.

· Amplify Voices: Amplify the voices of survivors of trafficking. Provide platforms for their stories and allow them to share their experiences. Take the time to listen and learn. By centering their experiences, we can work towards dismantling the stigma and misconceptions surrounding this issue.

· Support Organizations: Consider offering donations (of money or time!) to organizations, like New Friends New Life, that provide support and services to the survivors of sex trafficking. Volunteering and

donations are a great way to give back to your community and is what makes supporting these individuals possible. This Mental health Awareness Month, let us come together to offer support to the victims of sex trafficking and advocate for their rights to mental health care and support! Together, I am positive, we will be able to make a  significant difference and create a more positive and inclusive world.

Citations: James A. Levine | (2017) Mental health issues in survivors of sex trafficking, Cogent Medicine, 4:1, 1278841, DOI: 10.1080/2331205X.2017.1278841

More Than Supermom: Celebrating the Strength of Mothers Everywhere

Written by Tori Davis-Henry, Mental Health Clinician, New Friends New Life

Mother’s Day is a time to honor the extraordinary women who shape our lives in countless ways. From the moment we take our first breath, mothers become our guiding lights, offering love, support, and wisdom as we navigate our lives. They're our everyday superheroes – the ones who walk beside us through thick and thin, cheering us on and picking us up when we stumble.

 Motherhood also transcends biology. Grandmothers, aunts, sisters, mentors – all can embrace the nurturing spirit and impact the children who look up to them. Each woman brings her unique blend of strengths and experiences, shaping the lives of those around her with love and wisdom.

 As a mom of five – my sons and three bonus kids – I understand the importance of being present for my children. In today’s world, children need consistent, comforting presences. But they also need to see all of me – even the parts that aren’t “Super Mom.” They can learn valuable lessons by watching me overcome challenges or admit mistakes.

I’m not the only mom that works hard for my children despite challenges in my own life. As a mental health clinician at New Friends New Life, I witness countless moms who bravely rebuild their lives, battle anxiety, and conquer depression – all to create a loving home for their children. Their resilience and unwavering strength are an inspiration, and I am so proud to watch these women empower themselves and overcome their challenges. No matter the obstacle, the moms we serve work hard to grow as individuals and as mothers – and that’s a feat worth celebrating.  

This Mother's Day, let's honor the remarkable women who strive to be role models for their children, no matter what obstacles they face. Let's recognize their courage, sacrifices, and unwavering commitment to a better life.

I also want to challenge you to take this celebration to the next level. Our appreciation shouldn't be confined to one day. Let's strive to honor them every day, acknowledging the many hats they wear while working to be the best moms they can be.

To all the mothers and mother figures out there, we salute you. Your strength, resilience, and endless love inspire us to create a world where every child thrives.

Happy Mother's Day, today and every day.

The Butterfly Effect of Service | Volunteers Give More than Time

Written by Vanessa Barker, Community Engagement Director

While we typically think of volunteering as solely giving time, it’s so much more than that. We live in a society that is constantly on the go with full agendas and busy schedules. Despite this current way of life, volunteers make the time to pour their hearts into the agency.

Recently my personal perspective of time has changed significantly. Life changes have made me realize and understand on a deeper level, that time truly is the most precious gift. While simultaneously balancing the celebration of new life as a mom, but also feeling grief with the loss of a loved one, I’ve learned that how we spend our time matters.

Interestingly enough, the symbol of New Friends New Life is a butterfly. The butterfly is known to symbolize change and transformation. During my time at New Friends New Life and working with the volunteer program, I’ve witnessed the Butterfly Effect through service. The butterfly effect is a concept that explains how small changes can have big impacts.

I’ve learned that no act of kindness or service is too small; each encounter has a significant impact.

As volunteers take their initial tour and undergo training, they learn that each role has a purpose. For example, childcare. While it may seem like the volunteer shift is just to provide care for our members’ children, it’s far more impactful. It allows our members to heal while also providing them with a sense of peace and knowing their child is in a safe space. This removes a barrier that can have a generational impact.

Another example would be assisting with the clothing closet. On the surface, it may present itself as solely organizing, but it creates a dignified space for members to feel empowered. With that additional boost in confidence, members have proudly worn their new outfit into an interview leading to a new job. Granted, they’ve utilized the skillset from the programs on-site, but this provides a feeling of empowerment.

Whether you give your time directly to our members or indirectly through in-kind support, know that your time matters. Your time could turn someone’s day around. Your time may allow someone to feel seen and valued. Your time could help break down someone’s barriers and encourage them to thrive in a new way. So please know that despite the busyness of life, even if you give just a small amount of time to our members, your time can make a lifetime impact on someone else. You’re giving your time, but more importantly, you’re giving your heart.

To volunteer at New Friends New Life, visit: www.newfriendsnewlife.org/volunteer. We are excited to make a difference with you!

Taking the Lead on Learning

Written by Marie LeBlanc, Education Specialist.

            My journey into the field of education was unplanned. After earning a degree in the biological sciences and being accepted into medical school, I pivoted in the 11th hour to teaching middle school students…and found unexpected joy.

  After years as a K-12 educator and administrator, I transitioned into adult and higher education as a director and professor. This afforded me the opportunity to continue to experience professional growth and to challenge the status quo as it pertains to serving learners from very heterogeneous backgrounds. Thus, the excitement around developing and implementing an education division at New Friends New Life was easily ignited. From my initial conversation during the recruitment process to my first days onsite, the “fit” grew more obvious and affirming.

       What was unexpected, however, was the immediate and profound impact surrounding my work with the beautiful women who comprise our member population. I was prepared to deal with a “suspicion” of what myself as a newcomer would bring to the table; I was also prepared to “do battle” with the ghosts and shadows of adversities with past traditional schooling. Instead, I was met with excitement, warmth, and gratitude…all wrapped in determination and hope.

       Our learners endeavor to show up two to three times weekly to challenge themselves in the disciplines of math, science, language arts, and social studies. They readily recognize their opportunities for growth and hold each other accountable. There may be the occasional frustration within, but they self-redirect quickly and verbally announce to their peers a resounding, “…but I’m gonna do it because I want it…and Miss Marie won’t let us fail.”

       So how have I felt about my first 45 days at NFNL? Some may assume that challenges with a new implementation bring on feelings of burden and exhaustion; my chosen word is privilege. I’m humbled to be a part of this organization and only hope that I continue to serve all who are eager to learn in a way that diminishes doubt and exceeds expectation.

Women's History Month

Written by Katrina Tamez, Grants Manager

Historically, women have been considered second-class citizens. They have been diminished, fetishized, minimized, and exploited. Despite this, women have overcome opposition to do exceptional things, live fascinating lives, and blaze trails for a better, more equitable future. Although women and girls represent 96% of people trafficked for sexual exploitation (ICAT, 2017) they are powerful and efficient, often playing a key role in the fight against human trafficking.

In celebration of Women’s History Month, we want to highlight women who have greatly progressed the fight against human trafficking:

*NFNL does not own the rights to these images

In 2002, Katherine Chon co-founded Polaris, one of the leading organizations combating human trafficking, has the largest known U.S. data set on actual human trafficking experiences, and runs the National Human Trafficking Hotline. She worked at the organization for nine years, serving as its president for almost four years. Chon is currently the Director at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Trafficking in Persons.

Secretary Janet Napolitano launched the Department of Homeland Security’s “Blue Campaign” in 2010. The Blue Campaign is a national public awareness campaign intended to assist service providers, law enforcement agencies, and the public to better understand human trafficking indicators and how to respond to this crime. During her career, Napolitano served as the Governor of the State of Arizona where she was the first woman to chair the National Governors Association. As chairman, Napolitano was instrumental in creating the Public Safety Task Force.

As a key member of the United States Advisory Council on Human Trafficking with the U.S. Department of State, Dr. Marlene Carson, is one of America’s foremost authorities on the subject of human trafficking. A survivor herself, Dr. Carson is an Author, Publisher, Founder of Rahab’s Hideaway, Founder of Black Leaders Against Sex Trafficking (BLAST), and CEO of The Switch Anti-Trafficking Network. Dr. Carson has received many awards and commendations including President Barack Obama’s Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award.

Like Chon, Napolitano, and Carson, at New Friends New Life, we utilize the power of collaboration and the impact that collective action can have on the issue of sex trafficking. We enable people to support and uplift survivors who have endured the unimaginable as they work their way to freedom and healing. One way to do this is by joining NFNL’s Circle of Friends. In doing so, you are joining a movement to help survivors leave the sex industry and develop the building blocks for a better future.

 Despite advances in gender equality, women continue to face obstacles when it comes to having a voice in the local, regional, and international spheres. Women cannot fight this fight alone; it requires the unification of all people to put an end to sex trafficking. For example, men’s participation in the fight to end sex trafficking has only proven to strengthen efforts and hasten empowerment like when Congressman Chris Smith sponsored the Victims of Trafficking and Violence Protection Act of 2000, the very first congressional law to recognize human trafficking as illegal and provide increased protections for trafficking victims.

At New Friends New Life, we call men to use their resources and influence to uplift survivor’s voices and experiences by joining the Men’s Advocacy Group. This group mobilizes men to take action against sex trafficking and exploitation.

By uniting all people in this movement, we aspire to create a network that not only raises awareness about sex trafficking but also provides tangible support to survivors through financial giving, volunteerism, advocacy, and education